What is family? It should be a group of individuals sharing blood lines, who love each other, support one another, and defend each other against treats. Most of us think that family is the group of the members where we were born. Also we think of the siblings of our parents to be family members as well as their children. Often, I’ve learned those individuals are the worst enemies we could have. They judge us, hurt us, betray us, deceive us, etc. So, what happened with the prior definition of family? I think such definition should be revised. I think, there are two types of family; one the group of individual related by bloodlines where the individual was born and there is also the group of individuals selected by the individual for multiple reasons. This second group of individual may or may not be related by bloodlines. It is often that I witness that the second group is more aligned with the first definition of family. This group of individuals tends to support, love, protect, accept and encourage its family members. A restructuring our family definition needs to take place to assist the individual to have a more realistic definition and expectation of your family. Once the individual can be connected to a realistic definition of “family” such individual will be able to navigate and accept his or her family members. More often that I want to accept, many of my patients complain about family members because the definition of their “family” is unrealistic. This contradictory position creates a crashing multitude of emotions that produce a profound sense of confusion and emptiness. I also had to restructure my definition of family a few years ago and now I can say that my expectations are more realistic thus my disappointments are less frequents although I continue to find my surprises from time to time. I have come to accept that other individuals born in the same clan are not necessary my family although they are my brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, etc. My family is composed of some members from the group of individual where I was born and other persons chosen by me once I got to know the qualities they posses. My expectations of them are limited. This is helping me to have fewer conflicts with my family members and allows me to enjoy them more that before. Peace
Family
By: Roberto
